SADNESS AND SHARING OURSELVES

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Depression is a massive problem around the globe. Is anyone ever really spared those difficult days when nothing seems quite right? When the sun’s brilliant rays can’t touch our emotional state, our attitudes, or our outlook on life, in general? Very, very unlikely. None of us live in a vacuum; nothing is static for long.

Transitions challenge us. We crave change, but dealing with its realities is a different story. Sameness also bothers us, however. Boredom creeps in even when it really shouldn’t. But boredom is a tricky feeling; I think it’s more complicated than we imagine, don’t you? Is boredom really a form of depression?

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Yes, I think so. Boredom sounds okay to say though, doesn’t it? People don’t read much into it; we know it will pass or, at least, usually it will pass on its own within a day or so–maybe even hours. But is boredom masking something more? Are we really feeling unfulfilled, lazy, or misunderstood, perhaps? Do we have projects we can’t seem to dig into? Do our minds readily wander to so-called greener pastures that we seem eager to conjure up in our minds? Places that would be just as boring with time, of course!

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.” ― C.S. Lewis, “The Problem of Pain”

Then, of course, there is sadness. There is despair. There is extreme anxiety. There are low energy days when getting a glass of water might feel like moving a small boulder down the street. Depression comes in many shades of gray; and sometimes, we don’t even seem to recognize it in ourselves–especially if it’s a chronic condition. Rather, it’s just “another day” with heavy background notes of dissatisfaction, and a sense of unease with ourselves and others.

More than 264 million people suffer from depression worldwide. (World Health Organization, 2020) Depression is the leading cause of disability in the world. (World Health Organization, 2020)

“I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top.”
― John Keats

It’s been my humble observation that sharing ourselves with others is helpful when we feel rotten, or at least, lousy. Sounds counter intuitive, doesn’t it? But there is something healing about human connection. When we do something for someone else even though we feel like doing just the opposite, somehow we pull ourselves up a bit. We remember that we aren’t “alone,” and we remember that other people can use some help, too. Especially those who never seem to “need anything.” Usually, it’s just the opposite, right?

“Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right. They don’t need to show me their badges. I know these guys very well.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

Granted, there are no solutions that work every time. Always consult a professional, as needed. Talk to someone. Don’t suffer in silence. Reach out. Ask others to check in on you. Another day will roll around, but take each day on its own terms. Be good to yourself. It’s a new year, after all. ~

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