August 30, 2023, was National Grief Awareness Day 2023, so I’ve dedicated this blog post to high school classmates no longer with us, and to anyone else who has suffered the loss of family members and close friends. Over the years all of us have lost someone, so it’s always good to remember–to take a moment to honor the fragility of life.
“Unlike fads and trends, we don’t leave those we’ve loved behind — they, too, are part of the mystery that never dies. And though we bloom briefly, then fade, the universe always returning to itself, when we allow life to touch us deeply, even in sorrow, somehow, it extends our mortal view, and our glory.” — dh
… This blog post was also inspired by Roger Coble’s creativity and talent; you really captured the town we call home. The town, the state, have changed quite a bit since we were innocent kids preparing for our adult lives, but certain aspects of the SD experience are, of course, timeless. Well done!
** To listen to Roger’s reunion song … “Just don’t say North Dakota starring Lynda Schuler”… look for a YouTube video called Pierre Ft. Pierre by Roger Dale. The pictures he incorporated are wonderful!
Nostalgia and More
Time has elapsed; we’ve grown older in some ways, much younger … in other ways. I think that’s one of the most mysterious aspects of time and growth into maturity. What were your dreams on graduation day? Do you recall sitting outside (our class held the first outdoor graduation ceremony!), white balloons tied to the back of folding chairs? Who was the speaker? What was said to encourage us, inspire us, as we set forth, young adults ready to explore the unknown? Did you plan to leave Pierre, or did you hope you’d never have to leave? So many thoughts and questions come to mind, as I write this. For one thing …
I never could have been in a play like my good friends in this picture (Debra Huckfeldt Fiakas, Nancy Sutton, help me out with the third person?); I was much too introverted. Acting in a play, to me, seems brave and dignified, wonderfully dynamic and creative. Instead, I gravitated to debate and memorized speech events called declamation contests, because I was shy and disliked speaking in public venues … signing up for debate was my way of overcoming irrational fears for the years ahead. A challenge I needed, in other words.
Little did I know our debate team would be graced by the likes of a Mr. George Bauder, a funny, kind man I really enjoy keeping in touch with, as his wisdom and brilliance have only grown more impressive. I’m not sure how he tolerated us, but I think he has a generous heart, and a patient outlook on life, not to mention an ability to motivate and enlighten students in all good ways.
Why did you choose certain extracurricular activities? Sports? Band? Choir? Drama Club? Cheerleading? Class leadership positions (student government)? Working on the gumbo and the yearbook (wasn’t Mrs. Ledbetter wonderful?), FFA, and so on. Would you choose the same activities or interests today? Hard to say, isn’t it?
Life has happened; we’ve matured and changed (yet stayed the same), becoming contributing members of society with opinions, beliefs, and values of our own. Guess you could say we’re “updated” versions of yesterday’s world. It’s truly mind-boggling to consider how much has been learned and experienced since that warm, sunny day (was it sunny? who has a picture?) on Hollister Field wearing our caps and gowns.
But here’s the real question: Who among us was brave enough to take biology (senior year)? Two textbooks, right? One for college prep, one traditional. I have to admit, though, when I studied college biology, it was sort of a breeze thanks to our wise and demanding teacher, Jack Robinson.
“And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
SO what have you been doing since all of us parted company?
Could you have imagined what your life would look like today right after the last test was taken–the last cafeteria lunch complained about? Or the last school assembly endured? enjoyed? :)
Some of us will be in Pierre in September, but we’ve also had our share of class losses … a rather long and growing list circulates from time to time. It’s always difficult to truly comprehend loss; its surreal nature defies logic and understanding, doesn’t it?
Where did they go, after all? Why do things have to end? Philosophical, rhetorical questions, but still … we wonder.
And of course some of us won’t be there for an assortment of reasons; we’re not big travelers (I’ve never been a fan, actually), so I’ll shoot for the next big gathering. Perhaps we’ll be living closer by then. We did spend 12 years in Brookings not long ago, but East River is never quite the same as West River!
I remember my mother planning reunions; she put so much into it, got a real kick out of them. But life is complicated; so is decision-making. And people understand that reunions just aren’t for everyone for one reason or another–timing, health, family responsibilities, careers, personal choices, etc. The real kicker, of course, is that, in the end, none of us are around for that long. Seemed impossible of course when all we worried about was getting out of a class early, passing a test we hadn’t studied for, or wearing the right kind of jeans.
“The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.” ― Vladimir Nabokov, Speak, Memory
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that individuals are wonderfully unique. What sounds fantastic to one person sounds unappealing to the next. Priorities vary greatly, too. For us, we have a pair of amazing schnauzers that get the bulk of our attention these days.
But that’s another long story … most of it shared in my memoir, A Happy Truth: Last Dogs Aren’t Always Last (not a goofy book plug, but definitely an easier way to say we rarely spend more than a few hours away from Hannah and Georgia–that’s how well they have trained us! :)
For those of us who will only be there in spirit, including classmates who have left this mortal domain, it’s still a great time to reflect on the past. To consider how every life journey is marvelously different; every life, a vast, wondrous exploration of mortality and the human condition. I have no doubt that most of us have been through very challenging times–seriously happy times, as well. I guess that’s what makes life such an interesting tapestry–such a fascinating adventure.
And luckily, most of us made some lifelong friends during our time at Riggs and Junior High. I recall a reunion during the 90s; great turnout, it seems. But even then, I could feel the passage of time swirling around the room (Ramkota, perhaps?) like an uninvited guest. Where have all the years gone in such a maddening, yet, intriguing, flash? Dreamlike, you might say.
The poet in me (good job for an introvert, right?) wants to pinpoint exactly how it felt when the past and present mingled in that bittersweet context. The way the merging of diverse life stories felt when tucked into one big room after years of living in different parts of the country and world. But for those of you who stayed local, or at least spent quite a bit of time in Pierre, your understanding of the past probably seemed different. More connected, perhaps, not as mysterious.
Bottom-line, it’s great to still have friends who knew us well before our hair went white or disappeared all together, when our faces weren’t a tiny bit wrinkled, and our stride was crisp and eager. People who knew us when we were seriously naive, a little foolish, and undoubtedly, largely unprepared for the road ahead with its mountains to climb, valleys to explore.
Who were we then? Who are we now?
“Like all sweet dreams, it will be brief, but brevity makes sweetness, doesn’t it?” ― Stephen King
What will life bring in the coming days, years? If only we knew, right? I would just like to wish everyone meaningful challenges, worthwhile accomplishments, happy times, and few sorrows. Yes, life is a murky blend of adventure, routine, indecision, and pivotal moments. We never know what lies just beyond our imaginings or assumptions. I guess that’s why everyone needs a dream.
Who do you recognize? Who do you almost remember?
So don’t stop dreaming, regardless of external circumstances, or the way time refuses to stand still. Dreams don’t have to be elaborate, arduous, or intense; rather, they can be simple and straightforward; they can be whatever you want them to be …
“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Here’s to the years we’ll never forget; the memories made, the days that helped us move forward to discover our talents, our path, and our joys.
PSS … These are our sweet girls, Hannah and Georgia. We’ve had four schnauzers over the years … spirited dogs, to say the least! They greet us every time we return home (even after 15 minutes) like it’s the best day of their lives. Who could ask for more?! :)
“Let Hercules himself do what he may, cat will mew and dog will have his day.” — William Shakespeare
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