“A painter should begin every canvas with a wash of black, because all things in nature are dark except where exposed by the light.” ― Leonardo da Vinci
Have many of us become overly serious about “things” …. about “stuff” … about just about everything? Sometimes I feel this is true. What happened to “lighten up?” Granted, this phrase can be used at the wrong time and the wrong place, but so many things aren’t worth getting all rattled and revved up over.
In fact, I truly appreciate someone who can see the lighter side of things … when I can’t … or when no one can.
Levity. Perspective. Humor.
Each one can make a tremendous contribution when the timing is right–when they aren’t used to manipulate a situation or downplay an extremely important point. Of course, humor can also be unkind, even malicious, and when unhelpful, even destructive, it harms communication, and injures relationships.
If everything is a big deal (even when it shouldn’t be), aren’t we creating additional stress and anxiety in our lives? We’ve all heard someone say, “he’s pretty laid-back.” Again, it’s a matter of degree when it comes to the usefulness of a more relaxed style. Too relaxed can be a problem; too high-strung also can be a problem. But there’s a happy medium somewhere in there–a place of balance and flexibility.
After all, do we all really know enough about every single topic to have strong opinions that don’t allow for various perspectives to coexist? Can we lighten up enough to at least be more open-minded, more interested and curious about other vantage points? Perhaps, we’re talking about the importance of civil conversation. The ability to truly talk and listen and try to understand how another person might be perceiving the world.
Clearly, this isn’t always advisable or wise given unique circumstances, but in general, if we are able to “lighten up” a bit, conversation seems to flow more easily, and people seem more comfortable revealing themselves. There’s even a chance for a deeper connection, one we may want to nurture and sustain.
“From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that we are here for the sake of each other – above all for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.” ― Albert Einstein
A dear friend of mine, now deceased, made this lovely quilt; the signatures of authors and writers and poets are displayed so beautifully. I was fortunate to be included in this amazing work of art. I recall her joy in sharing the finished product. Though one of her last projects, her quilt shines a light on so many, while also speaking to the power of recognition and connection.
Nancy had a wry sense of humor that some appreciated more than others. Still, she used it judiciously, and more often than not, managed to lighten a discussion or situation with her ability to shine a slightly different light on things. Like her quilt, she saw new ways to fit things together–new ways to bring an idea to life. It’s a wonderful creative skill, one that could benefit our world in uncountable ways.
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ― Brené Brown
It’s okay to be deadly serious, even reasonably serious, sometimes, but there are other dimensions to life. And sometimes nuance is everything. The world won’t fall apart at our feet if we dare to laugh a bit more, or simply find the lighter side when everyone else has lost perspective. Wading in too deep time and time again is exhausting besides. We can give ourselves a break. We can sleep on something, or take time to think about something before reacting in haste. We can laugh when we’d rather cry. ~
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“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.” ― William James
